Για αγγλομαθείς, αγγλόφωνους και αγγλοδιδάσκαλους

• The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU-rather than German (the other possibility). As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year plan that would apply to the language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish. The agreed plan is as follows:

1. In year 1, the soft 'c' would be replaced by 's'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard 'c' will be replaced by 'k'. This would klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.
2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'. This will reduce 'fotograf' by 20%.
3. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more complikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them
4. By year 4, people wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard spas)
5. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from words kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
6. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer....ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!